Where He Belongs
by stelladarcy
Summary: A companion piece to Worth Having. Harry's POV. He listens without hearing and watches without seeing. On some small level, he is happy for them, happy for their successes, their joy, their ability to laugh in the face of darkness.


AN: All characters belong to JKR.

Harry holds his breath. He does it consciously, purposely. He holds it and then slowly lets it out, feeling it stream out over his tongue, past his lips. He waits, waits until his lungs begin to burn, and then slowly sucks air back in. Harry has been doing this methodically for the past 45 minutes. It's now a science, a mantra, a way to keep the pain in his gut at bay.

The sound of forced laughter inadvertently makes him look at her. She's beautiful and his awareness of her makes his guts tighten all the more.

Ginny looks back at him, her eyes asking for something he knows better than to give.

He wants to be anywhere but here and yet nowhere else.

He shakes his head slightly and abruptly looks away from her shadowed gaze. He tries to refocus himself on Fred and George. The twins are characteristically enthusiastic, telling them about a new line of products set to hit shelves this week.

Bill and Fleur are off to the side, beside the sink, looking much the same they did two days past at their wedding, utterly besotted.

He listens without hearing and watches without seeing. On some small level, he is happy for them, happy for their successes, their joy, their ability to laugh in the face of darkness. On another, darker level, he almost hates them for it. And then he hates himself just a little bit more.

Harry tries not to look at her again but her very presence is a magnet, drawing his stare. Their eyes meet and this time, it is Ginny that looks away, her posture broadcasting her misery. In that very moment, he feels her give up on him and it breaks whatever is left of his heart. He imagines it being torn to pieces, red rivulets running down his chest. Harry looks to the floor, almost expecting to see it awash in his blood.

He is leaving in three days with Ron and Hermione. He wonders if he will ever set foot in this house again. Wonders if he will ever see Ginny again. Wonders if he deserves to.

The Burrow is filled with people but Harry has never felt so alone.

When Hermione enters the kitchen, relief floods over him. He watches her walk past Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Remus, Tonks and Charlie, all sitting at the table, and stop in the middle of the room. He sees her glance at Bill and Fleur, and then look away.

He calls out to her, beckoning her over. It is only when she reaches his side, that he notices her discomposure. Her cheeks are a hectic red, as if flushed with fever and her eyes are glassy. Worry for her distracts him from the pain in his chest. He opens his mouth to ask what is wrong but instantly refrains from it as her expression silently begs him not to. In a way, he doesn't need to ask. Harry instinctively knows it has something to do with Ron.

He feels Hermione relax beside him as the twins begin some much overdue (in his opinion anyway) teasing of Bill and Fleur.

"_Mum, I do believe grandchildren are going_ _to be in the very **near** future,"_ says George with a smirk, dodging the washcloth that Bill flings his way.

The conversation at the table temporarily disrupted, Mrs. Weasley stands and points an angry finger at Fred and George. _"Enough of that, you two. I despair of getting either of you married off if this is the way you behave in public."_

She then turns to Bill and Fleur. _"I_ _**would** love to_ _be a young grandmother,"_ she says rather wistfully while the twins roar with laughter at the rising blush on Fleur's face.

Harry forces a laugh himself, welcoming the diversion. Unconsciously, his gaze returns to Ginny. She is watching her brothers with a slight smile. Her smile fades as she feels his eyes on her. It strikes him as ironic that weeks past their breakup and days before he is set to leave, he finally realizes beyond a doubt that he loves her. He, who has known so little of love, recognizes it in its full and painful glory. He also knows that the pain he feels now over losing her would be nothing in the face of her dying.

An exclamation from Mrs. Weasley brings him back to the present. _"Arthur, remember the Familius Charm?"_

"Oh no you don't, my dear. Remember how horrified you were when my parents tried to do that to us?"

"_But that was because she didn't even ask me first! Fleur, do you mind…?"_ Harry really does laugh this time as he watches Mrs. Weasley start pulling open drawers, frantically looking for something while Fleur stares at her in bewilderment. Mr. Weasley shakes his head wearily as he watches his wife search.

"_Dad, what on earth is she on about?"_ asks Bill.

"_Unfortunately, I think we will all see in a moment,"_ Mr. Weasley replies with a sigh.

"_I found it!"_ Mrs. Weasley crows in delight, brandishing an ancient looking scrap of paper.

Harry watches bemused as Mrs. Weasley reads the piece of paper while waving her wand.

"_Uh oh,"_ one of the twins groan.

Harry feels like groaning himself as he dodges the ball of light that forms in the center of the room. Hermione and Ginny hurry to his side as the ball of light quickly takes the shape of an arrow and bounces about the walls. Before he knows it, there is a glimmering square outlining the confines of the kitchen. Looking down at Hermione to get her input on this "Familius Charm", he sees her mouth something that looks suspiciously like "force field."

"_Arthur, prepare to see your future grandchild!"_ Mrs. Weasley exclaims delightedly.

Ignoring Bill's groan, Harry edges up to the shimmering light and stares transfixed.

"_This is a very old bit of magic,"_ Harry hears Mrs. Weasley say proudly. _"I've never had an occasion to use it before. It only works when hearts are seriously bonded, like those of newlyweds."_

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees the others draw closer too.

While they all stared at the screen of light, Harry wonders briefly if all they were going to see was a future kitchen. He hears the room fall silent at the exact same moment he hears singing coming from the screen. The voice gets louder and a figure enters their view within the screen. It's slightly blurry but they all can make out a tall red haired man carrying an infant.

"_Well Bill, I guess you're father material after all,"_ hoots George. _"Who would have guessed?"_

"_Oh my goodness,"_ whispers Mrs. Weasley with tears in her eyes. _"A baby."_

They all stare raptly as the "picture" suddenly clears and it becomes suddenly, glaringly obvious that it's not Bill that's holding the baby.

It's Ron.

Time seems to stand still and Harry all of a sudden feels like he can't catch his breath. He hears the twins curse and Mrs. Weasley and Ginny gasp. Their shock at seeing Ron singing to an infant is immediately surpassed by the shock of Ron's appearance.

The horrific details thud into Harry's skull with the force of a hammer. The horrible puckered scar that rips across Ron's neck. The missing fingers from his right hand. The painful gait as he walks. The gray hairs.

This was not an old man they were looking at. If Ron's face and bearing were any indication, this image was only 5 or 6 years away at most.

He turns away, unable to look anymore. Hermione stands frozen beside him, her eyes fixated on Ron.

He next turns to the table, looking for someone, ANYONE, to explain this away.

Remus and Tonks exchange a look of disbelief before turning to Mr. Weasley.

"_Arthur, he is alive,"_ Remus tries to consol him. Charlie doesn't utter a word. Sitting next to his father, his jaw tightens briefly before he slowly sinks his head into his hands.

"_Oh Ron, my poor Ron,"_ cries Mrs. Weasley.

Not wanting to see anymore, but unable to look away, Harry turns back to the screen and sees Ron bring the baby higher up on his chest before propping it up in a baby seat. He turns to get a jar of baby food out of the cabinet and then returns to the infant, crouching down to look at the baby and smiling.

"_Ok Madeline, there is absolutely no way I'm going to be as good at this as your Mum so bear with your poor father until she gets back okay?"_

Without knowing why, Harry chances another look at Hermione and is astonished to see the horror on her face change abruptly to joy and then determination. She abruptly turns and leaves the room, not noticing that as one, they all turn to watch her go.

A muffled noise from Ginny draws their attention.

"_Her grandmother,"_ she chokes out. _"She always said she wanted to name one of her children Madeline after her grandmother."_

As her meaning finally sank in, Harry takes a sharp breath and sees understanding dawn on the rest of their faces.

"_He does look happy,"_ Mrs. Weasley said amidst her tears.

Harry looks again at Ron holding his daughter and he sees that she's right. This time when he looks he doesn't see the scars or the injuries. He sees a Ron with bright eyes and an infectious grin. He sees a man singing joyfully off-tune to his baby. He sees a man at peace.

All of a sudden Harry sees what Hermione saw and the pain in his gut is gone.

He looks over to Ginny and he knows she sees it too. She sees him looking at her and smiles tremulously. That smile hits him like a healing arrow to his depleted heart and right then, he knows that he's going to do whatever it takes to win this war because it means Ron and Hermione living happily ever after, it means coming back to Ginny, it means living his life, with her, until he takes his last breath. It means everything to him and he tries to convey this to Ginny, pouring his heart out through a solitary glance. Her eyes brighten and she nods her head. Without any hesitation, he walks over to her side.

Right where he belongs.

Fin

AN: Any and all reviews would be appreciated! For those that reviewed "Worth Having," thank you so much!!!


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